Success Rising Out Of Failure

Al Neuharth, the founder of USA Today, talked about a unique philosophy he had when he came out with his autobiographical book, “Confessions of an S.O.B.” Neuharth said he believed a person needed to fail in order to learn how to succeed.

“Everyone should fail in a big way at least once before they’re forty,” Neuharth said. “The bigger you fail, the bigger you’re likely to succeed later.”

Some might insist this must mean I will be a tremendous success at some point, but that’s a story for another day. I recalled this quote when my 17-year-old son called me last week to talk about an enterprising idea he had that could potentially benefit a lot of people in his life.

To provide a little background first, Paytyn has been a volunteer for a haunted trail near Blanchard each October. The money raised from the trail has been routinely provided to the Bridge Creek band. This particular year, the property that has been used for the trail was being taken away and the organizers of the Halloween event decided to discontinue moving forward this year.

Paytyn, however, chose to go a different direction. He said he wanted to pursue being an organizer of the event – along with one of his friends – and turning it into a for-profit event. He asked me questions about permits and licensure, and how he should move forward.

His idea was to talk to the property owners about reconsidering the use of their land. He said he also wanted to set it up as a business that paid its employees for their work rather than using the proceeds to help fund the band’s operations. Sure, the school band would lose out on some much-needed revenues this year, but that was apparently going to happen anyway.

I offered as much advice as I was capable of giving and then left it in his hands to either make it work or experience its failure. And, the thing is if he does fail, it is my belief that can still be a good thing. His investment is more tied to his time and energy, and the hope is that his overheard will be small. If they don’t make much money, then they can at least know they did their best.

Paytyn already works two jobs in addition to taking his high school courses, playing in the band and taking a college course in preparation for next year. So, it is safe to say this is a significant investment of his time. But more importantly, this is a great learning experience for him, regardless of how it turns out. Something tells me it has a great chance of succeeding (and not just because I handle the marketing and PR work for the cause), but I am most definitely not afraid of him experiencing a failure. Because, as I already mentioned, failure can be a great learning experience.

If there is a setback, my guess is he will learn from it and use that to his advantage as he ventures into something even bigger. And, eventually he will be successful (maybe sooner rather than later) and that will really make everything else worth the effort.

My Commitment To Being Different

I try to vary the topics I write about and one those I rarely touch on is religion. While it may warm the heart of fellow Christians who attend church regularly, it is always a signal to turn and run for those who either don’t believe in God or are just skeptical about how the world and everything in it were created.

But this month’s particular series at LifeChurch has stood out to me and is worth talking about in the context of my perception. This is my blogpost, after all.

The series is called “Different” and the main message talks about how each of us who embrace God’s message are called to be “different” in how we approach life. In hearing the first two weeks of the message, I have been reminded of just how different I already am than most of the people in my world. And to me, that can often be a good thing. I am, after all, different.

I have felt different from mainstream society for most of my life, even when my actions reflected someone who was just hoping to fit into whatever groups wanted to accept me. It’s not as if I am noticeably quirky or odd in a way that makes people want to reject me. But I have always stood out in ways that others tend to just attempt to blend into. When the world wanted to zig, I tended to zag.

As a reporter, I did my best to outwork and outperform my peers and that led to awards and industry recognition. What it didn’t lead to was better pay or a solid reputation among the peers outside my immediate work area. Sure, I was respected within the walls of the State Capitol, but I kept running into brick walls outside my friendly confines. Based on what we have been told about the American Dream, that is certainly different. Because hard work will always get you the rewards, right?

When I ran for the Oklahoma House of Representatives, I certainly felt different. None of the people who existed in my immediate circle of friends had ever done that or have since. The very nature of the path I have taken has led me to know people who have taken this step, but they aren’t people with whom I have developed strong friendships.

It seems as if everyone I know complains about politics, but I actually decided to do something about it. I knocked all the doors. I went to the community events. I raised money even though I felt uncomfortable with every call. Even in losing, I felt as if I won something because I took on a challenge that most people just aren’t willing to do.

I took a job in the public relations office at Langston University, and many people viewed me as different because of that. When I went on to become a spokesman and the voice of the state’s only HBCU (Historically Black College or University), I certainly felt different. Not in a bad way, but I knew and understood the uniqueness and privilege of a white guy standing in those shoes.

Two years ago, when my sciatic nerve decided to change my life forever, I most definitely felt different. It wasn’t just being a paraplegic for several weeks. It wasn’t losing my job two weeks after being released from the hospital while still not being cleared to work at a desk (in part because I still lacked the ability to walk). It was the totality of it and how I responded to it.

The thing is, I didn’t sit back and cry about how life had hand-picked me for an unwarranted beating. I forged forward and began applying for jobs. After months of surprisingly unsuccessful attempts to gain employment, I again did something different. I started my own company and tried to use that as a way to pay bills while I continued to seek a regular income. It was never intended to be a replacement for a full-time job and it has failed to serve even the modest objective it was supposed to serve. Now, nearly two years into my job hunt, I continue to feel different.

I have applied for thousands of jobs, been through several dozens of interviews and been a finalist for numerous jobs. And not once in the last two years have I been chosen as the guy who they wanted to fill that vacant position. Nobody goes two years working toward a specific goal of employment and comes up empty. But, I am different and my job drought has reflected that.

Who knows what the future will hold? I continue to plug along each day optimistically seeking a life that will allow me to have the stability that so many others seem to take for granted. Regardless, I will continue to be different, whether or not people appreciate it.

When Was The Last Time You Went To The Drive-In?

Last week my son and I were supposed to go to the drive-in movie theater but rainy weather combined with poor movie selections (kid’s movies) led to us choosing to opt for an indoor location. But our decision on this particular evening should not take away from the fact that we could have had an enjoyable evening at the local drive-in.

Many of you out there may be wondering what I am talking about because you either didn’t realize Oklahoma City actually had a drive-in movie theater or you have never actually been to a drive-in movie before. If you fall in either of these categories, you are missing out.

I first began my long-standing relationship with the Winchester Drive-In when I was a kid. I remember the trips to the snack bar, the oversized speakers that would theoretically fit on top of your car windows, and the late-night nature movie viewing experience.

Although I took a lengthy hiatus from the drive-in during most of early adulthood years, I ventured back to the Winchester with my son several years ago and have enjoyed making it out there ever since. It’s such a unique spot – there is an even lesser-known drive-in theater in Guthrie – and I am always glad I have gone.

The great thing about the Winchester is that it is cheap to get in for the double feature, and the food is relatively inexpensive too. Honestly, it has to be because people would otherwise be hiding entire meals in the trunks of their cars.

The downside to going to the drive-in is that bad weather can dampen the evening. If it is raining, the show may still go on but exiting the theater will be muddy. And you’ll be using those windshield wipers throughout the two shows, which will undoubtedly be annoying.

Another problem is if the double feature isn’t to your liking, you won’t have other options. There is one screen and the movies usually run from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. If you don’t like the selections, you might end up sleeping through half the viewing experience.

The drive-in movie experience doesn’t seem to be the same as it was in the movies I watched as a kid, when it was THE place to go for high school couples looking to make out. But it is a great family experience and I would definitely recommend it to anyone who is looking for something different.