A New Chapter

Last Friday, I did something I hadn’t done since October of 2015. I woke up knowing I wouldn’t be scouring the job sites for an opportunity.

Yes, you read that right – I have been looking daily for a job since late October two years ago, when I suddenly found myself looking for steady employment while attempting to relearn how to walk again. I managed to get my legs back much sooner than I was able to get back into the PR industry as a full-time employee.

Many of you know I created my own public relations and marketing company in an attempt to market myself for projects while I continued to rehabilitate my legs and back. Some months were better than others, but I learned quickly that I would need more than just the income from my business. So I became a substitute teacher. I became a freelance writer. I became a credit consultant. I became a babysitter. I became a food delivery driver.

I networked. I attempted to take advantage of knowing a lot of people in the business. I became a member of the Public Relations Society of America. None of it led to anything.

I applied for hundreds of jobs – possibly even thousands – and participated in dozens upon dozens of job interviews. I drove to Tulsa several times for interviews. I flew to Dallas for an interview at the airport and flew back an hour later. I interviewed with the same companies several times with the same results.

It was a frustrating period of time. Companies would sometimes ask for me to do work for them and then ignore my followups. Some required personality assessment tests. Worthless. Many asked for a resume and then an application that required me to repeat the same information from my resume. It was a waste of time.

Each and every rejection stung. Even when I was never told I didn't get the job, I would eventually realize I hadn't heard from them in awhile. At least the rejection emails and letters put an end to the process.

I was told several times I was overqualified. I assumed that sometimes I was underqualified, although they would never admit that was the case. It was usually a standard “we chose to go with a candidate that more closely fit our needs” line in an email. But, again, it was still better than those who chose not to communicate with me at all.

Some rejections were tougher to take than others. I missed out on a job with the Putnam City Schools Foundation that I strongly believed I was going to get. I was a perfect fit and a graduate of Putnam City High School. I thought I was an exact match for a job with the Oklahoma Foundation for Excellence. I wasn’t. I was recommended for a position with the Oklahoma Department of Corrections prior to the job being announced. After an early meeting with the person who would have been my boss, I never heard back from anyone despite reaching out multiple times. The person who was hired lacked a resume anywhere close to what I offered.

One job in particular really shocked me. To this day, I have the voice mail in which the recruiter for a job at Petra said I was pretty much a lock for the job. He said they were going to check references and that was the last step before making an offer. Despite calls and emails to follow up with him, I never heard back. It was a very curious ending to an otherwise normal hiring process.

With nearly three years of success working at a PR agency, I thought I would have a relatively easy time getting a job with one of the PR agencies in the metro area. For the most part, I couldn’t even get interviews with them. In one case, the owner of the agency said she and I had almost identical paths and that she would want me to do freelance work for them if I didn’t get the job. I never heard from her again. Some of the agencies where I applied for jobs are run by people I know personally. I never got an interview with any of them, which certainly sent a message to me.

I was particularly distressed with my inability to get a job in higher education given the time I spent at Langston University. I applied at the University of Oklahoma – where I attended college for a year and where I had legacy established – at least a dozen times and probably closer to a couple of dozen times. Not one interview. I applied several times at my alma mater – University of Central Oklahoma – and only managed to get a pair of interviews a couple of months ago. Not one offer, however.

I applied a few times at Oklahoma State University with low expectations and actually received interviews for three separate jobs there. And for those of you who don’t know already, that is where I have ended up as the Publications Coordinator in the Office of the Registrar.

Yes, that means I will be commuting to Stillwater each day. Yes, that means I will be in a position to promote OSU to potential students. Yes, I will give it my full effort and do great work for them.

For all those companies who didn’t recognize me as someone who would have been a great fit for them, I intend to make sure they realize what they missed. I am more motivated than ever to be the best employee possible and I am looking forward to the next chapter of my career. Finally!

The American Pipe Dream

When I was growing up, it was often said and repeated that the “American Dream” could be achieved by anyone willing to put in the work. It sounded great and was a driving force in getting me through college and attempting to move up the ranks in whatever industry I happened to be in at the time.

The thing is, the American Dream is really just short of a nightmare and is not something that can just be achieved through hard work.

This is something we don’t want to have to admit and, as a white male, it is assumed that I should never be in a category of someone who would say this publicly. But it is true.

Take, for example, a scenario where you have 10 people living on an island and the only currency is the food found on the island. Those who can have the mental and physical capacity to immediately locate and retrieve the food are going to start out as the wealthy people on the island – the most successful. Those who are slower in recognizing what they need to do to get ahead are going to immediately fall behind with little to no options in moving forward.

This is how real life works. Some people are born with abilities that just allow them to succeed at a higher level than others. I can assure you that my experiences tell me that people who are charismatic and good-looking have a much easier time getting people to give them chances than do people who lack personality, charm and natural beauty. It is just how the world works.

Don’t agree with me? Would Donald Trump be working outside of janitorial services if he hadn’t been born to a multi-millionaire? Doubtful. His statements may seem charming to some because they view him as a self-made success story but anybody with that level of arrogance should have an impressive background to show for it. He doesn’t.

I don’t want to pick on just one guy, because the world is full of them. Guys born on third base who claim they hit a triple. The Paris Hiltons of the world who think they actually did something other than just be born.

It doesn’t just apply to people who were born with rich parents. Kevin Durant and LeBron James may not have been born into the best conditions, but they were given basketball talent that exceeds what most people have in any other area. They found their niche and now make millions and millions of dollars for playing basketball.

The truth is, there are typically going to be limits to what you are going to be able to accomplish. I was born to working parents in south Oklahoma City as a white male, and I find roadblocks all the time to what I can achieve. And working hard doesn't just eliminate those obstacles. To a female or a minority, that may sound like I am underachieving or making excuses but it is the truth. Life has never been a piece of cake for me, nor will it ever be easy regardless of how much effort I put into it.

So, if life has been an uphill climb for someone with my background and socioeconomic upbringing, just imagine what it is like every day for a person who is attempting to gain traction in a world that embraces the white male as the alpha. It isn’t easy.

In a world where women are paid less than men and where minorities face social inequalities on a daily basis, not everyone has an equal opportunity to make it in this world. Sure, each of us are a winning lottery ticket away from having a special life, but the majority of us work hard and have little to nothing to show for it. For most of my adult life, I have worked two to four jobs at a time. Do I feel successful? I think you know the answer to that.

When someone tells you the American Dream is alive and well for everyone in the USA, just know they are blowing smoke or they caught a lucky break along the way to their path to success. For most of us, however, we can only hope to accomplish a limited amount of greatness through the hard work we bring to our daily lives. In the meantime, having rich parents or being born with some amazing talent seems to be the only sure way to experience success in today’s America.

Time to Talk Some Sports!

Who would have thought a few weeks ago when OU lost its first game against the lowly Iowa State Cyclones that the Sooners might actually have a chance to beat every team on its schedule this year? With OU continuing to win against overmatched opponents and Iowa State continuing to win against teams that were ranked ahead of them going into the season, the Sooners could have a chance to play the Cyclones in the Big 12 title game.

What?

As it stands now, there is a four-way tie at the top of the conference standings with OU, OSU, Iowa State and TCU. Each of those teams has lost once in conference (only Iowa State hasn’t lost to the one of the top four conference teams) and they all have one conference loss. In looking at the remaining scheduling, some of the deadlock will work itself out. OU has road games against OSU and West Virginia as well as a home contest against TCU. OSU still has that home game against OU and a road challenge against the Cyclones. Iowa State already has wins against OU and TCU but does have that game against OSU as well as a game against West Virginia.

In terms of redemption, the same could actually happen for OSU and TCU. The Cowboys could go undefeated the remainder of the season and potentially play TCU in the conference title game. TCU could go undefeated the rest of the way and end up playing a rematch with Iowa State. A lot could happen between now and then, but it should all work itself out somehow. Hopefully.

The college football playoff rankings were announced for the first time this season and the Big 12 has three teams among the top 11 (and four in the Top 15 with the Cyclones making an appearance). Despite a not-so-lofty ranking in the weekly polls, OU comes in at fifth with a road game against OSU this weekend. TCU sits at eighth and OSU is at 11.

Georgia came in at the top spot while Alabama tumbled to number two. The Crimson Tide looks to be the better team to me but at least we will get to see the two compete against each other (barring a loss along the way to the SEC championship game). I’m definitely not sold on Notre Dame (best win is against a questionable NC State team), but I feel confident they will stumble at some point. I feel the same about Miami, and ironically the two play each other later this month. Clemson still looks good to me despite the Syracuse loss, and most of the other teams have some roadblocks in their way (Penn State, Ohio State) or just haven’t played anyone (Wisconsin, Central Florida).

The media spotlight hasn’t been just on college football lately as MLB has had some negative headlines, mostly stemming from Yuli Gurriel of the world champion Astros taunting Dodgers pitcher Yu Darvish with a “slanted eyes” gesture when circling the bases after a home run. Gurriel will be suspended five games next year but wasn’t punished during the championship series. It’s amazing what some people think they can get away with in a public setting.

Houston has a problem in another sport too. Also creating an embarrassing situation for himself was Houston Texans owner Bob McNair, who compared his players to inmates. Especially considering the social injustice conversations taking place throughout the nation and in the NFL specifically, McNair was either completely ignorant or just showing his true colors when he made the statement. After fallout from his players, many across the nation and the NFL itself, McNair backtracked and said he was talking about the owners and the NFL commissioner’s office. Nice try, Bob, but nobody is buying it.

We can't talk NFL without mentioning the lowly Cleveland Browns, who botched a trade for quarterback A.J. McCarron by failing to get in the proper paperwork to the NFL commissioner's office. I realize it looks incompetent, but hear me out on this. What if the Browns were actually willing to look bad just to do something to light a fire under their current crop of signal callers? I think most people would assume long-term DeShone Kizer is a better prospect than McCarron. So, what better way to get his attention than to convince him he was that close to being benched for good. Just a theory ...

The NBA season has been somewhat enjoyable thus far, especially after the Thunder put a whooping on the Bucks. Oklahoma City is starting to come into form sooner than expected while the Warriors and the Cavs are still in pre-season form. I don’t expect either team to continue playing down to a lesser level, but it is nice to know there is tape out there that shows how to beat the presumably two best teams in the league.

Enjoy your sports weekend – it is just starting to heat up!

Are Our Minds Playing Tricks On Us?

Take out a pen and write down the name of your favorite fast food chicken place that isn’t open on Sundays. Now, take out your smartphone and try to type it into the body of a text message. How is it spelled? Is the auto-correct version on your phone the same as what you wrote down?

Assuming you chose Chick-fil-A (since it is the only one I know of that fits the earlier description), it brings about an interesting concept that routinely occurs for people. Apparently, research has found the majority of people think the store is or at one time was spelled “Chic-fil-A or Chik-fil-A.” In reality, is has always been spelled Chick-fil-A.

This phenomenon is one of many false memories that fall under something called “The Mandela Effect,” which was named for a reoccurrence of people wrongly having a recollection of watching Nelson Mandela’s funeral on television after he died in prison. Mandela, in reality, was in prison during the 1980’s and didn’t die until 2013. It had been decades since he was in prison, however.

I was listening to a national sports talk radio host this past week – Bill Reiter from CBS Sports, for those who are interested – and he brought up the psychological phenomenon as part of a discussion on the song, “We Are the Champions,” by Queen. Many people who sing the song typically croon a phrase at the end of the song – “of the world” – that actually doesn’t exist. The song ends with the phrase, “We are the champions.” That’s it.

Other “incidents” that fall under this include people consistently confusing the spelling of the Berenstain Bears (not Berenstein), Froot Loops (not Fruit Loops) and Oscar Mayer weiners (not Oscar Meyer). Even Star Wars fans get some attention as this phenomenon includes the often repeated phrase, “Luke, I am your father,” which was never actually said (Darth Vader said, “No, I am your father” instead). Common recollections of C-3PO are of a droid that is all gold or gold-plated, but in reality the character has a silver right leg. Look it up.

In looking up more about these common happenings, it turns out there is a website (www.mandelaeffect.com) that actually talks about a possibility of a link between the recent Las Vegas shooting, the Steve Harvey mistaken announcement during a beauty pageant and the explosion of a Russian spaceship in outer space.

It’s focused on a series of unique happenings that definitely makes you think. I’m not one to lean toward conspiracy theories or even common events being linked, but it was intriguing to learn about.

Some of the other examples included whether or not Curious George had a tail (he didn’t), if Pikachu had a black mark on its tail (no) or if the Monopoly guy had a monocle (he didn’t). People commonly remember it one way but reality insists it is something completely different.

As part of the theories, some have gone so far as to believe there could be some mirror universe that we experience at the same time, causing us to have jumbled up memories. There are definitely some out there wearing the tin foil hats that are more than eager to believe there is an alternative universe that exists.

I’m not sure I’m buying it, but it is definitely something worth reading more about. And who knows, maybe one day we will have a better explanation as to why we think Hannibal Lecter of “Silence of the Lambs” said “Hello, Clarice” when he simply said “Good morning.” Strange, huh?

Don't Like the Lyrics? Change It!

One of the common complaints I hear from people in my generation and the older generations is that music lyrics have gotten completely out of hand. Yes, you can go to YouTube, pick a random song and, sure enough, you will find enough cuss words to make a sailor blush. There is no denying song lyrics aren’t exactly showing off the literacy skills of today’s youth.

But the thing is, song lyrics haven’t really changed that much during my lifetime. I remember when I was listening to rap during my teen years (anyone remember Two Live Crew?), and those lyrics don’t seem all that much different than what I hear now. I can recall hearing Guns and Roses song lyrics and their drug and sex references as a teenager and thinking this was the new direction of music. But lyrics haven’t really changed much since then.

Just the other day, I heard a couple of songs from my youth that helped reinforce that thought. First was Manfred Mann’s “Blinded by the Light” and it’s infamous “wrapped up like a deuce” lyric that often gets confused with a common feminine hygiene product. Knowing the lyrics as I do now, I listened more intently and it did sound like “deuce” the first time they sang it. Then, as they repeated the lyric more and more, it had more of a slur to it and sounded more like it had the “sh” sound at the end. I’m not one to question motives in song lyrics, but they had to have one. And if you listen to the other lyrics, you can definitely see that this band will use unusual lyrics.

A second song that came up that day was “Get It On (Bang a Gong)” by Power Station (which was a cover from the original 1971 song). With chorus lyrics of “You’re dirty sweet, and you’re my girl; bang a gong, get it on, bang a gong,” it occurred to me this was more than just a catchy tune. It was a tribute to sex, short and direct.

I can remember other subtle but clearly sexually suggestive songs like “Afternoon Delight” by Starland Vocal Band that maybe didn’t use profanity but clearly took our minds to a better place than the office cubicle. You know it puts a smile on your face when you hear it!

And who can forget all the "devil-worshipping music" from the 1980's? I remember being told Def Leppard was among those groups that would cause me to join the dark side. Listening to that music as an adult, all I hear is a group caught between glam, rock 'n' roll and pop. I definitely didn't hear a link to the underworld and all its unholiness. 

Even beyond the lyrics, we have been getting shocked by musical artists for decades. Remember Madonna’s "Papa Don’t Preach" message? Yeah, you would think the abortion aspect of that hit song wouldn’t seem to be such a big deal nowadays but it still resonates even today.

I have no doubt that some songs and maybe even some music types tend to have more profanity and negative messages than what we are used to, but artists have been crooning about hooking up with their lady or someone unbeknownst to their lady for decades. As I have always said, if you don’t like the sound or sight of something, we live in a country where you get to change the station or turn it off. But, to me, it really isn’t that bad, or at least any worse than it was during my youthful years.

Time To Run These Red Lights

Central Oklahoma has a traffic problem.

Sure, it seems like we have really congested traffic at certain times of day, but the truth is we don’t actually have the traffic jams people experience on a daily basis in places like Houston or Atlanta. The traffic may seem unbearable but it could be worse.

What makes Oklahoma unique is the incompetence we endure from our traffic light operators. Dealing with traffic can be tough enough without having incompetent people making decisions that determine the negative outcome of our day.

Take Edmond for example. As someone who went to school there, lived there and worked there, I know Edmond really well. And because of the lights, I know it better than I should. I couldn’t tell you the number of times I have driven through neighborhoods just to avoid having to sit at a light for three or four minutes (and for trains that park in the middle of the road too, but that is a story for another day).

The other day, I found myself driving up as one of the first cars at a red light traveling south on Broadway at the intersection at South Ave. A store is to the west and a neighborhood is to the east. I timed it at four and a half minutes I waited in the turn lane before I finally had a chance to move.

Edmond is notorious for having poorly timed light operations (ever been to 33^rd and Broadway?) but it isn’t alone. Oklahoma City has pockets where you can be the only car sitting there, yet have no chance of an immediate light change. Why are we setting timers on lights that don’t have enough traffic to warrant them?

Yukon and Norman are other cities I have visited frequently that has lights that just don’t seem to match up with the routine traffic patterns that cross them.

Probably the biggest problem is when I hit a red light and I know the next series of red lights are going to be mine as well. Prove me wrong – I’ve experienced this way too many times.

We have a problem and it is a human one. And it is time we stand up and fix it. I’m not sure if it is laziness or a wanton disregard for using what seems to work in other cities. But it needs to change.

Sure, the  never-ending road construction and the texting while driving epidemic don't help but those are minor compared to what we deal with at our intersections.

Maybe you are fine with showing up late wherever you go. Just blame it on the red lights or the trains. But how many times do you get to use that same excuse before it wears thin? Do you really want to find out?

Heisman Hopefuls: My Early Season List

The college football season is already into the conference season, which can only mean one thing – it is time to start announcing our Heisman watch lists.

Sure, it may seem a little early, but considering that last year’s winner – Lamar Jackson of Louisville – pretty much won it based on the first half of the season, I think we can get off to a quick start.

I’m sure many of you will think I am going to go the homer route with my frontrunner but honestly the best player I’ve seen thus far has been Penn State’s Saquon Barkley. I put him as the top guy reluctantly, however, because he has surpassed 100 yards rushing only twice in his five games. He does have 27 catches and two touchdowns receiving along with a kickoff return touchdown. But Penn State has yet to play anyone and it is likely those numbers won’t look as great in a few weeks.

This is one of those eye test decisions (he looks great but his numbers could look better). Barkley’s highlight reel is way more impressive than anyone else’s thus far, but his numbers have to improve. Plus, I’m still not giving a free pass to anyone who made a decision to attend the school Jerry Sandusky made infamous for all the wrong reasons.

Yes, Baker Mayfield is the number two guy on my list. He averages over 300 yards passing a game and has 13 touchdowns versus zero turnovers. He has been a leader on a top five team and he has a chance to really improve his numbers in a league that isn’t well known for defense. Yes, I’m an OU guy but he really is a Heisman contender, whether you hear it from me or from someone else.

Number three for me is a guy most of you probably haven’t heard about but soon will. Tailback Bryce Love of Stanford is just another in a long line of superstar ball carriers from this West Coast university. With an average of over 200 yards a game to go with his eight touchdowns, Love is definitely the feature guy on this team. Hurting his chances, however, are his team’s 3-2 record (including a loss to San Diego State) and the fact that he typically plays when many people have gone to bed.

My fourth guy is last year’s winner – Jackson. However, I am going to have a tough time removing the memory of him chasing stats against backup Clemson players in a blowout loss a couple of weeks ago. Jackson is a multi-talented player with 13 passing touchdowns and five rushing touchdowns, but he was a letdown the one time he had the stage. Plus, it is important to note that he was not a Heisman player down the stretch last year. We’ll be watching him carefully.

I like Oklahoma State signal caller Mason Rudolph as my fifth guy. Yes, they lost a home game against TCU. Yes, they played a miserable non-conference schedule. But, his numbers have been good (over 300 yards in every game and six rushing touchdowns to go with his 16 passing touchdowns) and he will get to play against some questionable defenses during conference play. If OSU only has a couple of losses at the end of the season, everyone will forget about that home loss to the Horned Frogs.

Among the guys who aren’t likely to make the list are favorites Sam Darnell and Josh Rosen. Darnell, the quarterback at USC, has looked awful. Let the Jets or whoever finishes with the worst record take him with the first pick in the NFL draft – he is a high risk, high reward guy who is not having a good season. As for Rosen, the numbers look good but the loss to Memphis does not. Sorry, bro, don’t “at” me.

It is early so I’m sure we will see some movement on this list before all is said and done. But for now, we all have our favorites. These just happen to be mine.

A Time To Stand and a Time to Kneel

In the mid-80’s, a real estate mogul named Donald Trump purchased the New Jersey Generals of the United States Football League and took a vocal position among owners of the upstart professional football league. His intention was to get the spring league in its second season to compete directly with the NFL by moving it to the fall.

Unfortunately, for him, the NFL and the TV networks kept that transition from being a profitable one, and Trump responded by doing what he is known for doing. He sued. This time, he actually won. The jury, however, didn’t reward him with the $1.2 billion he requested and instead gave him a dollar. Yes, you read that right. A dollar.

The USFL folded and was never heard from again. Trump, on the other hand, has managed to keep his name in the news for decades since, and he actually convinced just enough voters to cast a vote for him in the presidential election to win despite his long-standing history of not quite living up to his promises or anyone’s expectations.

Knowing that his disdain for the NFL dates back over 30 years, it was no surprise this past week when he took the very unusual path of encouraging NFL owners to fire or suspend any “son of a bitch” who knelt during the national anthem. It was clearly pandering to a base of supporters who don’t understand laws or diplomacy and who certainly lack understanding of what social inequality truly is.

The response from the NFL was swift and not in his favor. The NFL front office offered support for the free speech of the players. Numerous owners – some of whom had donated up to a million dollars toward his campaign – took a firm stance in support of their players as well. Trump ended up looking like, well, Trump.

This wasn’t the first time Trump took shots at an industry and got more feedback than he may have wanted. But this time, he has put his supporters in a position they can’t argue. He is asking them to support a piece of cloth and a song over constitutional freedoms. He has put his supporters in a position that they now have to argue that symbols of freedoms are more important than actual freedoms and actual lives.


A lot of people don’t understand the issues surrounding the national anthem controversy, and in some cases they probably wouldn’t support it even if they did. When Colin Kaepernick first took a knee during the national anthem last season, his hope was that it would spark a conversation about the shootings of innocent black men by law enforcement officials throughout our nation. He accomplished that, mostly thanks to a sitting U.S. President speaking publicly about it last week.

Nobody can say for sure if we will make progress with social inequality in the next few years or even in the next few decades, but it does seem as if we have an executive in charge of our country who is tone deaf to this issue. He described white nationalists as “fine people” while taking shots at those who were merely expressing their right to protest.

You can get upset that people are “disrespecting” the flag by not participating in a tradition that has been around for a while. However, it is a routine that is not required by law, and people seem to be losing sight of that. People who don’t stand for the national anthem are not breaking any laws.

Our military men and women are fighting for our freedoms and most certainly our lives, which are far more important than the cloth and tunes that are symbolic of those freedoms and lives. As a country, we need to join together and focus on what is truly important and stop allowing the rhetoric of the ignorant dictate the direction of this nation.

KD In Need Of An Image Makeover

A few years ago I was thrilled to find out that the week’s service at LifeChurch was going to include an interview with Kevin Durant of the Oklahoma City Thunder. I had managed to overlook the fact that KD had gone to the University of Texas for a year before being drafted by the Thunder, and at the time I felt like he was a great role model for kids who paid attention to the NBA.

In the interview, he talked about how his relationship with God was the most important part of his life and I came away impressed with who he was as a person. But, unfortunately, a lot has happened since 2013 when that service took place, and this week has highlighted who KD really is.

This isn’t the first time I’ve taken my shots at KD, but he has evolved from being a great person and a great basketball player to being exactly what people don’t like about professional sports. On top of everything he has done to show us just what his character really is, we have self-proclaimed experts on TV and radio telling us that KD’s decision to go to Golden State was merely a business decision and that the fans need to just accept it as that. Unfortunately, that equation factors in billionaire owners and millionaire players without taking into account those who help generate money used to pay the players’ salaries through their ticket and sports memorabilia purchases – the consumers.

What happened this week is just further evidence that KD is a very insecure person who has some growing up to do. His ramblings on Twitter in which he ripped the Thunder coach and the players not named Russell Westbrook were indicative of someone who has had an axe to grind. The bad part for him is that he did it in a way that didn’t follow his plan and he came across looking like “a idiot.”

The thing is, KD is always going to have to deal with the decision he made. The Thunder were up 3-2 over Golden State in 2016 when KD’s abilities suddenly disappeared and the Thunder lost the final two games. As we have learned since then, KD was already talking to Warriors’ players about signing with them as a free agent. Clearly, he was distracted. Otherwise, the Thunder could have easily been good enough to be NBA champions not only in 2016 but the following year as well (had KD re-signed with OKC).

I’ve often said there is a trend in the U.S. these days to hire kids to do the work of adults and KD is another example of that. He may have out-of-this-world talent when it comes to playing the sport of basketball, but his mental state is as underwhelming as that of another famous tweeter who is stealing headlines in the political world.

Yes, I have completely changed my perception of KD since that day I found out he was a part of the church I have attended for years. That probably won’t change because his decision to leave is irreversible, but I still hold out hope that one day he will get it. He needs to grow up and start acting like a man. Then, and only then, does he have a chance of being treated like one.

The Emotions That Come with Death

Some of you may have noticed that I have attended more than a handful of funerals the past couple of years. It is only because I have. In fact, I have probably known more people who passed away the past two years than the entire 45 years prior to that. Some might call that an aberration while I’m sure others would just say it is a byproduct of getting older.

The last funeral I went to was among the toughest, mostly because it was so unexpected. He was the spouse of a former co-worker and a friend, and I hated to see her have to go through the emotional process after she found out her husband had died in a motorcycle accident. Seeing the emotions on her face the day of the funeral was tough, and the mood at this particular funeral was far more somber than any of the other funerals I have attended the past two years.

The surprising thing is that the other funerals had a much more upbeat feeling to them. When people have time to process the imminent death over a period of time, it seems to help people with their perspective on how they want to grieve during the funeral. More and more people seem to be willing to treat it as a celebration of life rather than the loss of someone close to them.

To me, there isn’t a right or wrong way to approach a funeral. Each person’s emotional reaction should be unique to them and they shouldn’t be forced to feel a certain way. If a person’s death is overwhelmingly troubling, you should allow yourself to be touched in that way. One person’s celebration of life may be another person’s worst feeling ever, and there is nothing wrong with either of those.

Probably the worst feeling for me in terms of death was losing my Papa, and over a decade later I still miss him. I was better prepared for the loss of my sister a couple of years later and it showed as I was able to remain somewhat stoic and unemotional throughout the process of setting up the funeral while mourning her loss. I’m sure there were some who thought I should have been more emotional while dealing with her loss, while others may have been somewhat surprised at just how upset I was at losing my maternal grandfather. I couldn’t have predicted my state of mind with either one.

Some things will probably be a constant at funerals – the overwhelming number of flowers, the stiff yet methodical walk of the funeral directors, or the handful of people who are completely clueless as to how they should dress to this type of event. But how people are going to react to the moment is more unpredictable, and that is something that should never change.

Seems Like Something Big Is Happening Next Tuesday

Did you know there is an election next week?

For those of you who read my articles on Nondoc, you probably are aware that the Oklahoma County Sheriff’s special election is being held next Tuesday. If you don’t live in Oklahoma County, I can understand why you might not feel this is your election, but it still should have some relevance everywhere.

The thing is, Oklahoma County has had some problems lately when it comes to its sheriff. And this isn’t just one of those sheriff problems they imagined they were experiencing in Rock Ridge (yes, that is a lame “Blazing Saddles” reference). Outgoing John Whetsel left the office with a lot of problems – not the least of which involved millions of dollars in missing equipment that was discovered missing during a state audit.

That is a problem. But what continues to be a bigger problem for the sheriff’s office is the lack of concern for the problem of prisoners dying in the dilapidated county jail. Whether it is the conditions or a lack of oversight, something is amiss when it comes to the county jail problems. An extraordinary number of people are dying and that is something that should get everyone’s attention.

For some of you, I’m sure you are thinking these are people who have committed a crime and you aren’t all that worried about them. But we have laws and a centuries-old history of court rulings that attempt to override this low-level way of thinking and try to provide civility to everyone. Inmates have as much right to live while they are incarcerated as the rest of us. Plus, many of those who are in the county jail are still presumed innocent while awaiting charges to be filed, or they may be there as part of an appeal being filed for a wrongful conviction.

Having been at the Nondoc-presented debate, one thing was clear – there wasn’t a clear-cut level of concern among the two current Oklahoma County Sheriff’s office employees regarding the issue of county jail deaths. Considering those are the GOP and Democratic candidates, that isn’t reassuring. The Independent (yes, I expect you to do some research before you go cast your vote) was more to the point when it came to talking about the problem. He claimed that it was important to treat inmates as people and not animals.

The candidates were equally as bland when it came to the question about the Black Lives Matter movement as they seemed somewhat surprised and slightly dismissal about it. The always tiring “All Lives Matter” response seemed to dictate the response and it was countered with resounding angst from the bulk of the audience.

I’m not going to try to tell you who you should vote for, but I do think you should know what you are voting for. And if the county jail and how we expect the sheriff’s office to treat individuals aren’t important to you, then I would like to ask for you to re-examine your mindset. Whatever your reasons are or what your background is, I can’t imagine that mistreatment of people is something that is considered acceptable.

So, go vote on Tuesday, Sept. 12^th, and help us make a difference in how things are done in Oklahoma County. And for those outside the county, just know that many eyes are watching because these types of problems don’t tend to happen in just one place.