The Manbun needs to be Gone Gone

The other night I was watching a baseball game on ESPN while attempting to enjoy the start of the regular season when I saw something that caused me to turn off the game. It was Dallas Braden.

For those of you who don’t know him, I can understand. He was a little-known professional pitcher who occasionally was asked to make guest appearances on ESPN. I never thought much of him one way or another until after he retired. He was brought on board with ESPN full-time and it stood out to me that he had an arrogant way of delivering his message. He seemed like that cocky guy who had no reason to have even the lowest level of arrogance.

Maybe it was his curly hair fading off his significant male pattern baldness or possibly it was the finely groomed beard that just didn’t seem to look right. Well, he took his look in a completely different direction and proved to me that he could look worse. Much worse.

Now he has a beard that an Amish man might be proud of and he is wearing that same curly hair in a man bun, which is by far the worst thing anyone has ever done to hair in the history of life. The truth is my problem isn’t really with Dallas Braden as much as it is the man bun and other appearance destroyers that people seem to embrace.

The man bun is disgusting on so many levels that I don’t even know where to start. At some point, somebody looked at another man with a man bun and decided that might be a good appearance for themselves. It’s not. Attractive men who wear man buns decrease their level of attractiveness. Less than attractive men who wear man buns (which is most men who wear man buns) look like they haven’t showered in months and that they are begging to be exiled from society.

Women who spend time with men who wear man buns aren’t helping. I can only assume it has something to do with self-esteem issues or maybe something to do with having a crush on women who look like men or vice versa. Either way, it’s just bad. If you could berate them daily, then maybe they will go back to a normal look.

There are other things that people do to alter their appearance in a negative way – fashion statements, excess makeup, plastic surgery – but it seems as if hair changes are the ones that stand out the most. Whether it is a man perm or a mohawk or mullet or today’s man bun, they are just bad ideas that shouldn’t see the light of day. I mean, if the Thunder’s Kyle Singler wasn’t so bad of a player, what would we be saying about him? You guessed it – his awful hairstyle.

Dallas Braden is being shamed publicly for his bad choices (as is Kyle Singler) but many of you seem to be getting away with a really bad decision. If you don’t know better, then please get some people around you who have some taste and listen to them. Now.