Literally Missing My Life

This week one of my favorite people I’ve ever known is getting married for the first time. And he is 46-years-old, so this was no small feat for his soon-to-be wife to convince him to walk down the aisle.

I will be missing his wedding.

It’s not that I don’t want to be there. I was as excited as anyone when I found out he was getting married. And when the conversations about where and when involved first Hawaii and then Florida, I was even more excited. A destination wedding that doesn’t interfere with football season. A much-needed vacation. Nothing wrong with that!

But, as it turns out, that thing that I believed to be less than a 1-percent chance of happening did happen. I will be missing his wedding.

Those of you who know me know very well know I am a social person who likes to be a part of various events. Having a pool party? Let me put on my swim suit! Celebrating your birthday? Let’s have fun!

Unfortunately, those good times are something I’ve had to miss out on far more often than I would have ever wanted. Having to live on a small level of savings and unpredictable infusions of money makes life much less manageable and tougher to enjoy than the steady paychecks I was accustomed to regularly receiving. Especially with all the rejections I have had to deal with in the job market.
It has been tough dealing with the fallout from all of the obstacles that have been overwhelmingly faced this past year, but among the toughest are the things I missed out on this year mostly because of money (or lack thereof). Spending time with my grandmother during her final days and weeks. Going camping with my son. Missing his band trip to Branson. Spending time with friends. Having the luxury of knowing I can pay bills month-to-month.






I often feel like I'm a silver lining guy in a dark cloud world and I have tried to make the most of every situation, just as I continue to do now. I started my own company. I continue on a daily basis to apply for jobs. I’ve had six interviews the past two weeks. I’ve done some writing on the side and done some side projects to squeeze out every penny I can get. I’m writing a book that I hope one day will open even more doors for me. And all of this has helped get me by much longer than it ever should have. But it is also not the life a college graduate and an accomplished professional should be living.

Every night, I am reminded of everything I miss. And there is a lot. Including a big event involving one of the best friends I have ever known. But, as you already know, I will be missing his wedding.
So, I will continue to work hard and see where my life ends up. Because, I know there will be more things to miss out on in the future. And I feel like I’ve missed out on enough lately.