Literally Missing My Life

This week one of my favorite people I’ve ever known is getting married for the first time. And he is 46-years-old, so this was no small feat for his soon-to-be wife to convince him to walk down the aisle.

I will be missing his wedding.

It’s not that I don’t want to be there. I was as excited as anyone when I found out he was getting married. And when the conversations about where and when involved first Hawaii and then Florida, I was even more excited. A destination wedding that doesn’t interfere with football season. A much-needed vacation. Nothing wrong with that!

But, as it turns out, that thing that I believed to be less than a 1-percent chance of happening did happen. I will be missing his wedding.

Those of you who know me know very well know I am a social person who likes to be a part of various events. Having a pool party? Let me put on my swim suit! Celebrating your birthday? Let’s have fun!

Unfortunately, those good times are something I’ve had to miss out on far more often than I would have ever wanted. Having to live on a small level of savings and unpredictable infusions of money makes life much less manageable and tougher to enjoy than the steady paychecks I was accustomed to regularly receiving. Especially with all the rejections I have had to deal with in the job market.
It has been tough dealing with the fallout from all of the obstacles that have been overwhelmingly faced this past year, but among the toughest are the things I missed out on this year mostly because of money (or lack thereof). Spending time with my grandmother during her final days and weeks. Going camping with my son. Missing his band trip to Branson. Spending time with friends. Having the luxury of knowing I can pay bills month-to-month.






I often feel like I'm a silver lining guy in a dark cloud world and I have tried to make the most of every situation, just as I continue to do now. I started my own company. I continue on a daily basis to apply for jobs. I’ve had six interviews the past two weeks. I’ve done some writing on the side and done some side projects to squeeze out every penny I can get. I’m writing a book that I hope one day will open even more doors for me. And all of this has helped get me by much longer than it ever should have. But it is also not the life a college graduate and an accomplished professional should be living.

Every night, I am reminded of everything I miss. And there is a lot. Including a big event involving one of the best friends I have ever known. But, as you already know, I will be missing his wedding.
So, I will continue to work hard and see where my life ends up. Because, I know there will be more things to miss out on in the future. And I feel like I’ve missed out on enough lately.

Forget Texas - Let's Look to the Northwest

My son and I took our first “adult” trip to Colorado last week and it was a real eye-opening experience for both of us. We had both been there before, but all dating back more than a decade ago when I was a new parent and he was working his way through infancy.

 

Our trips are always great no matter where we go – Disneyworld, trips to the lake, Branson, Dallas. The destination never really mattered as much as the time spent together. But this time it was both. He seemed to be having a good time but he said something that surprised me. He said this was probably his favorite trip ever. And that he felt like this was his “home.”

What I know about Colorado is that it is full of nature. And not just the green, leafy variety everyone thinks about when I tell them I went to Colorado. The fact is, I didn’t notice a single marijuana store while I was there. I also know my phone was unable to get service half the time I was there, which was slightly annoying. But I can completely understand where my son was coming from.

I’m sure he was somewhat impressed with the mountains. We spent most of our trip at a higher elevation than we can find anywhere in Oklahoma. But the activities I planned for us weren’t anything all that exciting – a walking tour of Denver, a quick look at dinosaur tracks, hiking some trails near the Red Rocks Amphitheatre, a free concert outside of a local restaurant and a trip to Manitou Springs, Garden of the Gods and Pike’s Peak. OK, so those are some fun things to do. But they aren’t all that different than what can be found in a lot of states.

What stood out were the people and the environment. Sure, in Oklahoma, there are plenty of “nice” people. They are polite and they are often willing to help out a stranger in need. But that is the way people are everywhere. There was a different attitude in Colorado, however. Nobody was excited that Donald Trump had been in town recently. Nobody seemed too wrapped up in anything. They just seemed to enjoy life. Even the hipsters seemed to just keep to themselves and not act as arrogant as Oklahoma hipsters. And as far as the environment, it felt clean. Sure, I was having more difficulties breathing normally due to not being used to the higher altitude, but there is a reason people move to Denver to heal themselves. The people there appreciate nature to the point that they actually do something about it. They actually base voting decisions on how the candidates treat the environment. It was so unique!

I have lived in Oklahoma my entire life and have no immediate plans to change that. However, I can recall during my years as a reporter at the State Capitol having to listen to elected officials consistently compare Oklahoma to Texas. I’ve been to Texas and I’ve been to Colorado. And in my experience, Oklahoma needs to be much more like Colorado than Texas. It’s your choice, Oklahoma – the youth of Oklahoma are watching and waiting.

The Transition from KD to Gree-D

There are so many directions I could have gone when Kevin Durant found his way to Oklahoma City eight years ago. I was already a fan of the Mavericks and the Thunder were a local version of the Supersonics that had moved from Seattle. I had a passing interest in the New Orleans Hornets when they rented out Oklahoma City’s arena for a season, and I certainly believed it would be a good thing for my son to have an opportunity to grow up with a local professional team around to root for.

The reason I say there are different directions I could have gone with KD had to do with a variety of issues. KD chose to play for UT, by and large my least favorite team in any sport. That alone would have been enough to not root for him. But KD seemed to be a nice guy and through the years, he continued to portray himself as a genuinely good person whose virtues included loyalty and trustworthiness. He said all the right things. He was charitable. He stayed out of trouble. What really resonated with me personally was when one of the weekly services at LifeChurch centered around KD and it came to light that he attended the same church that I did.

As we have been finding out since he turned his back on his fans and his professional family, KD is not all that he had positioned himself to be. He wasn’t loyal and he wasn’t trustworthy. He made a business decision, but he didn’t make what an intelligent person would label as the best basketball decision. The best basketball decision would be to stay on the team that had Russell Westbrook, Victor Oladipo, Steven Adams and Enes Kanter. Maybe Dion Waiters too. Sure, choosing to join a team that had two-time reining MVP Steph Curry, sharpshooter Klay Thompson, All-Star Draymond Green and 2015 Finals MVP Andre Iguodala is a promising lineup. But they didn’t need KD to win a title. Any championships they win with KD are rings they would have just as likely won without him. They wanted KD so they could validate losing this past season. Because this year’s team won the most regular-season games and still couldn’t get it done. Then, they brought in the ultimate “can’t get it done” player in the NBA.

Did KD do anything wrong by leaving OKC to sign with Golden State? No. The NBA rules allow for it. They also allowed OKC to offer more money because, frankly, it is better for the NBA’s marketing efforts for players to be linked to the same team rather than be a journeyman player chasing titles. Ask Kobe Bryant. But, what KD also did was alienate himself as a player and as a person. Not just in OKC but to the world. To every small market in every corner of the league. Do you think a hard-working blue-collar worker in Minneapolis is feeling good about Karl-Anthony Townes sticking around to bring his team a title when that next contract is up? Teams like OKC won’t ever have a chance when teams in Texas, California, Illinois, Florida and New York are always going to get the best players.

And let there be no doubt, there is nothing wrong with people in OKC being upset about KD’s decision. We had a relationship with KD and when we asked for a lifetime commitment, he walked away. There is a reason this felt like a girlfriend sleeping with our best friend. But this was even more – this was asking a girl to marry us and then having her sleep with our five worst friends and then running off to marry our most hated enemy. That would be unforgivable socially but completely legal, which is just the same for KD. He is allowed to make his choices but he also has to face the consequences of those decisions.

So, how should I feel about KD? Well, at this point he is just one more player I am going to be rooting against on the “Dream Team” that has been compiled at Golden State. But, because of the way he left OKC, it will be more than that. He left us in a way that made him irreplaceable. At least this season. We built a team around him and he bolted to play for a team we could have defeated this season had KD played up to his potential. So, do I respect KD? No. Do I think he is still a good person? Maybe. But his own former church pastor has always said, “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” Based on what has happened this week, I can only assume KD has some very shady friends and a future that won’t involve the words “legacy” and “class.” Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, Gree-D or Sha-D or whatever new nickname you will have from here on out.